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March 19th - 20th. One LONG day.
Lucknow to Delhi:
We arrived to the Lucknow airport about two hours before our flight was to leave. We had sections of waiting. We had to wait about thirty minutes before we could go through security. They didn't want too many people in the one terminal. The worst part about waiting in India is that whatever men happen to be standing around, also waiting, like to fill their wait time by staring. It's extremely discontenting. After going through security and entering the terminal, we had to hunt two seats out. Mom has a knack for taking me right to the middle of whatever group happens to be staring the hardest....but as this is our last day here I'm used to this little annoyance. I've learned that if I avert my eyes, eventually, the gazers will look for something more
interesting. So I tend to spend much of my time watching the ground. Which is why I happened to notice the small roach that was making its way down our isle of seats. In one motion, I picked my bag up and tucked my feet underneath me. Unfortunately, the man across the isle was not as observant as I. Maybe his eyes were worn out from staring at me. Slowly, the said roach crawled onto the shoe of the poor soul. Then back over it the other way. I considered saying something, but I didn't want to call attention to myself, so I decided to just enjoy the show. Eventually our friend, Roach, tired of shoe exploring and decided to brave new regions. It crawled into the mans pants. I gasped and held my breath! Thankfully, Roach quickly reappeared and I relaxed. With new interest, I continued to watch....as the little beast again disappeared up the unknowing mans pant leg. Now I waited with baited breath....
"Oh please, come back"
To my horror, I never saw that roach again. I knew I had to intervene. It was inhuman to simply sit calmly as another human is being violated before your very eyes. So I started practicing in my mind...
"Excuse me Sir, a roached just crawled into your pants. I know because I've been watching....perhaps you should remove it?"
Hmm.
Maybe if I just waited a bit longer it would come back. I'm surprised the poor guy didn't say something to me...I mean, I had been staring at his calf for about thirty minutes. Alright, that vermin wasn't making a reappearance, I HAD to say something. Big breath...
"Here I go...Oh no, wait! I bet the guy doesn't even speak English."
I knew once I approached him I'd be committed.
"I know! Signs." Everyone can understand basic human body language.
"Ok....signs. Tell him with signs."
*Taps shoulder.*
"Sir."
*Crawling motions, points to pants, makes a bug face*
"Bug. Bug in pants."
* Insistently pointing to pants*
"Pants, your pants!"
No....I couldn't go through with it. That stupid roach would just be allowed to live in peace for now. I hope it likes it's new home. It was time to board anyways.
Fare thee well Lucknow!
Delhi to Newark, NJ:
Once we landed in Delhi we had to take a twenty minute bus ride from the local terminal to the international terminal. We went to the bathroom to change into our travel clothes so we where the last to load and consequently had sit in the very back of the bus (I didn't feel cool. I think in India, the cool kids get to ride in the front). As it turns out, in India, the back of a bus is an ideal breeding ground for mosquitoes. Now, I'm not sure that you'll remember, but I had defied my mother and refused to take malirone (anti-malaria), and amazingly hadn't gotten bit at all. I wasn't about to let that change now, as I am leaving the country. I prepared for battle. First I had to stir them up and get them off of me....so I started waving my arms about like a maniac. Now was time to attack. I tried to clap a few to death, but they are used to that approach. So I armed myself with the unexpected and came on full force with the element of surprise that my trusty weapon allowed me...my passport. It was perfect! I smashed 5 on the window within a matter of seconds. The next two minutes saw the demise of 10 more. They flew wildly about...now 15 where down and the survivors realized the danger in the air and stayed out of my territory. A few brave ones tested the area...the count was up to 17 dead. Now I was started to search them out. "Come on you pesky things!" A lone scout ventured
over. 18 dead. By now I was in stealth mode. I think mosquitoes are related to the T-Rex. If you don't move they won't see you. Two more entered my domain. prepared for speedy flight. I injured both with fetal wounds. "HA! There's one!" 19 dead, 2 injured and the bus ride was over. I didn't want to get off...but somehow I doubted they would let me stay killing bugs forever. The Hindus on the bus couldn't have been happy....Gee...I hope I didn't kill someones grandfather!
We've had to wait for about five hours in the international airport. We both got chair massages from a booth here and they kinda made me hurt and feel a little sick, but still relaxed me. I know I'll fall right to sleep when we board.
Two Hours, Six Minutes till we land in Newark:
I am so hungry! So far all they have served on this flight is Indian food and I just can't eat it anymore. They every have curry flavored chips! I HATE curry. I take back everything spiteful I have ever said people with food dislikes. If you know me at all you've heard me say something like"Grow up, be a man and eat it! You don't have to love it, but show some gumption!" I have spoked these words almost more than any other. Picky eaters are normally a horrible annoyance, but I never understood. I've never strongly disliked any food before...but curry. Ugh. Other than the food, the flight has been good so far. I've slept for a good portion of it, which will make everything easier.
We're sitting next to the funniest man. His name is Alfred and boy, is he chatty. He started going the minute we sat down. Heres what I know....He lives in L.A., has two college age sons, and was traveling to India on business.
Now, Alfie raised his sons right. He taught them that a woman is like a party; a man never goes to a party unless he is invited...So, how did mom raise her daughters? I think Alfred was digging for an invitation.
India was actually his last stop, He's been "around the world, heading west". China was his last stop before India, and he really loves India so much more than China. The Indian people are SO wonderful and eager to please....and so many speak English. He's in the furniture business. His company manufactures in factory's all over the world...he's not the owner, of course, but the real owner is a rich man who doesn't like to worry about business, so Alf (as I nick named him), is #2 and gets to travel and play with the Big Boss's money.
(This is the part where I closed my eyes and tried/pretended to be asleep)
So naturally he has no complaints...it is a pretty good gig. Alf thinks what mom is doing is wonderful! Is her husband supportive? (This is where is really becomes apparent that he just thinks that mom is wonderful, and that he is totally crushing on her. She just kept talking about her eight children. With clear emphasis on the EIGHT part) Alf is no teetotaler. His drink of choice is Jack Daniels with a Diet Coke. He's from Germany and moved to the US about 20 years ago, and has never regretted it.
This is the part where I really fell asleep and Alfie started making sly comments to Mom to see if she was into him. As a result, Mom informed him, rather stiffly I imagine, that she was going to sleep. She than proceeded to turn completely sideways in her seat, with her back towards him, curl up in a ball, and go to sleep.
Well Alf, your life story has provided me with something interesting to write, so I thank you. Tell you sons hello from me. One hour, forty-nine minutes till landing.
Newark to Phoenix:
We are SO close! Just being in the US gives me a wonderful feeling of being home. When we landed my first words where "Mom, smell the air! It's so clean!" and we where in practically in New York! I love my country, this trip has been amazing and revealing to me in so many ways, but I am happy to be home. We are both so tired that we took turns crying over random things, and are both in somewhat silly moods.
If I was to sum up this trip in one sentence I would say "Never plan to lose weight in a country where the only things worth eating are bread and ice cream" Either that or "Don't Litter". I'm just kidding....I have gotten so much more than that out of this, but it's going to take some serious reflection to know what.
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Thats where my India journal ends. I filled every page, which makes me proud. Don't forget about me now that my trip is over...maybe I will still have time to blog every now and then.
We've had to wait for about five hours in the international airport. We both got chair massages from a booth here and they kinda made me hurt and feel a little sick, but still relaxed me. I know I'll fall right to sleep when we board.
Two Hours, Six Minutes till we land in Newark:
I am so hungry! So far all they have served on this flight is Indian food and I just can't eat it anymore. They every have curry flavored chips! I HATE curry. I take back everything spiteful I have ever said people with food dislikes. If you know me at all you've heard me say something like"Grow up, be a man and eat it! You don't have to love it, but show some gumption!" I have spoked these words almost more than any other. Picky eaters are normally a horrible annoyance, but I never understood. I've never strongly disliked any food before...but curry. Ugh. Other than the food, the flight has been good so far. I've slept for a good portion of it, which will make everything easier.
We're sitting next to the funniest man. His name is Alfred and boy, is he chatty. He started going the minute we sat down. Heres what I know....He lives in L.A., has two college age sons, and was traveling to India on business.
Now, Alfie raised his sons right. He taught them that a woman is like a party; a man never goes to a party unless he is invited...So, how did mom raise her daughters? I think Alfred was digging for an invitation.
India was actually his last stop, He's been "around the world, heading west". China was his last stop before India, and he really loves India so much more than China. The Indian people are SO wonderful and eager to please....and so many speak English. He's in the furniture business. His company manufactures in factory's all over the world...he's not the owner, of course, but the real owner is a rich man who doesn't like to worry about business, so Alf (as I nick named him), is #2 and gets to travel and play with the Big Boss's money.
(This is the part where I closed my eyes and tried/pretended to be asleep)
So naturally he has no complaints...it is a pretty good gig. Alf thinks what mom is doing is wonderful! Is her husband supportive? (This is where is really becomes apparent that he just thinks that mom is wonderful, and that he is totally crushing on her. She just kept talking about her eight children. With clear emphasis on the EIGHT part) Alf is no teetotaler. His drink of choice is Jack Daniels with a Diet Coke. He's from Germany and moved to the US about 20 years ago, and has never regretted it.
This is the part where I really fell asleep and Alfie started making sly comments to Mom to see if she was into him. As a result, Mom informed him, rather stiffly I imagine, that she was going to sleep. She than proceeded to turn completely sideways in her seat, with her back towards him, curl up in a ball, and go to sleep.
Well Alf, your life story has provided me with something interesting to write, so I thank you. Tell you sons hello from me. One hour, forty-nine minutes till landing.
Newark to Phoenix:
We are SO close! Just being in the US gives me a wonderful feeling of being home. When we landed my first words where "Mom, smell the air! It's so clean!" and we where in practically in New York! I love my country, this trip has been amazing and revealing to me in so many ways, but I am happy to be home. We are both so tired that we took turns crying over random things, and are both in somewhat silly moods.
If I was to sum up this trip in one sentence I would say "Never plan to lose weight in a country where the only things worth eating are bread and ice cream" Either that or "Don't Litter". I'm just kidding....I have gotten so much more than that out of this, but it's going to take some serious reflection to know what.
----------------------------------------------------
Thats where my India journal ends. I filled every page, which makes me proud. Don't forget about me now that my trip is over...maybe I will still have time to blog every now and then.
4 comments:
Of course people read this! India is something most won't experience
Awesome Callie! I love you. keep blogging.
You're outrageous. Can I just say how jealous I am of your exploits? And then continue with that same thread of thought and share with you how much more fun you would have had if I had been with you?! hahaha! I love you, Callie. I'm glad you're home, I glad that you didn't get bitten by mosquitoes who would suck your blood then spit back into your blood giving you malaria. I'm also glad that your mom did not accept Alf's advances (German's tend to be strange and just think of the movie "Alfie"). I'm glad that you didn't drink all the booz in your mini fridge in India. It might have made your trip a little more bearable for you but oh well. That's all I have to say. Oh yeah, and thanks for the duds. What kind of events does one where a punjabi to anyway?
I MISSSS you when I read that you were giving mosquitos "FETAL WOUNDS"....I love you!
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