Funky Toe

Some might find it interesting that given the power to change one of my physical features that I would choose to change my toe, but it really isn’t that hard to understand once you know how much my poor toe has been through. Hurt, deformed, permanently damaged, mocked…yes, my big toe has been through quite a lot. It all started that fateful day,  12 years ago…
I was ten years old, and definitely in my “awkward stage”  uncoordinated  and klutzy as can be.  One day while looking through the pantry, I dropped a jar on my foot. My toe instantly started swelling and bruising. A few days later my toenail fell off. Unfortunately, this was just the beginning. Of course, the nail grew back…but it was different, thinker and shorter. My nail bed was damaged, and having an ingrown toenail was common and often resulted in an infection. I started referring to it as my funky toe, and my - oh so compassionate -  siblings quickly followed suit . Eventually, I went to the foot doctor and had an procedure done to prevent it from becoming ingrown. It wasn’t as painful anymore, but I will never forget the words the doctor said…I asked him if there was anything I could do to make it grow back normal (now that I was in Jr. High, being normal was very important to me). He said no, and that my toe would always be bulbous. For some reason, I found that extremely offensive, yet strangely funny.  He couldn’t have known that he christen my poor toe with a new name.
I started to avoid wearing flip-flops, and often would curl my toes under my foot to hide my deformity. One magical day while getting a pedicure I discovered something amazing…it was possible to get an acrylic nail on your toes!  Of course, I decided to try it. I was thrilled with the result, was even wore open-toed high heels to a wedding! I couldn’t have been prepared for what followed…while out on the dance floor, someone stepped on my toe, ripping both the real and the fake nail off by the roots.  This became somewhat of a cycle. My nail would grow back, I would get a fake one, and eventually both nails would come off. I started only getting the fake nail for special occasions,  but  by now my nail bed was even further damaged. Even the slightest stub of my toe can cause my nail to detach itself.  That I’ve lost my toenail so many times, in the most opportune places has been a joke in my family for years.  I’ve even lost it Disneyland! Heck, I wouldn’t let Prince Charming anywhere near my foot, even if he did have my glass slipper!
My funky, bulbous toe is, by far, my worst feature…