Toilets & The Sinful Nature of Man (a Subtle Hint to The Girls Who Use Bathroom #6)

I have published an unusual number of serious blogs lately. Not necessarily a bad thing, but just not what my blog has typically been. I was thinking today about how funny I am, and how I have not had very many chances lately to express my extraordinarily entertaining sense of humor. Now, I have a gained quite a few followers since coming to Hungary, and I just want to make sure you all know that, in all actuality, I am quite witty.

If you don't believe me, I would like to refer you back to some of my older blog posts. You should read about my return journey from India, or perhaps you will be amused by my process of cleaning. If you are not easily disturbed you may be able to handle the worst about me. Maybe you would appreciate to my ability to relate fiction to reality or be interested in how I view my family. You can also learn to understand the way I view the world by understanding my inability to attract normal people and also my complete distrust of doctors.

But I am in bible college now. There's no time for jokes or laughing. We are a very serious bunch who studiously read the bible during every waking minute. We never laugh and we never joke. We simply live each day, trying to consume Oreo cookings that are much to big for us...glorying...in tribulation...

(P.S. Not really. All of that  last part was a lie...well, besides the cookie and the glory bit.)


I do have a point, and it is this...today I cleaned toilets. Actually, I clean toilets five days a week...most of the time, it's really not bad and I actually enjoy my time alone. But every once in awhile I encounter horrible things. Unspeakable things. Things that make me think "WHO did this!?" and then spend the next few hours suspiciously eying my neighbors. The first time this happened to me, I was seriously grossed out...You see, I come from a home that dealt with gross things in a very wonderful and normal way. Mom took care of it. Anything that caused uncontrollable gagging to occur was Moms job. She would bravely march in, scolding us for being such wimps, and we would all wait outside...gagging. Well, I guess when it comes to bathroom #6, I am the MOM.

After a few days of cleaning the bathroom, I was starting to notice a trend in the cleanliness of the stalls. Naturally, because of the creative way my mind functions, I began to see an allegory for life depicted in my bathroom.

Let me describe the scene for you. The bathroom door opens inward, swinging to the left....Actually, I changed my mind. I'll just draw a picture...

(Let me take a moment to admit that I know I have put way to much thought and effort into this...)

So, here it is, my bathroom. The alternate title of this blog post would be... 

If Our Lives Looked Liked Bathroom Number Six: 

If the life of humans could be depicted as this bathroom, 

Toilet Stall #1 is the place of our normal, day to day sins. These are the sins that we are comfortable with. Things like laughing at bad jokes, talking about someone behind their back, or eating too much cake. We feel kind of bad about these things, but we don't let them bother us to much...in Stall #2 we start to get into the darker sins. We feel ashamed of these sins...because, well, because they stink. These are the sins that other people can see reflected in our lives...the things we hate and want to change but they just keep happening. Stall #3 is where we move from admitted sin to the dark, horrible, sick sins. These are the areas that we don't want anyone to ever know about. The things that come out of us and we just want to blatantly deny "I would never do anything like that". Yes, these are the sins that we forget about, until one day, we just explode with evilness that is shocking to ourselves.  

Lets move to the showers, shall we? The shower is a place of cleansing, where all our filth washes down the drain...never to be heard from again. But every once in awhile the drain gets clogged (mostly with hairballs). Shower #1 is the easiest and nicest. It's used often, but doesn't afford much privacy. In our spiritual lives, this shower is our devotions. The daily act of praying and reading, simply being blessed and therefore experiencing more of Gods cleanliness and less personal filth. Shower #2 is the cleanest, but only because it is the least used. The water drains to slowly, so when we use this shower we are left standing in our own filth. We are still being cleaned, but it's painful to see the water turning grey. Shower #3 is related to Toilet #3. This  is the shower that grows mold. It's the shower that offers the most privacy, therefore the most used. It's always left a mess, but it reflect the mess that we often step out of after being cleansed from sins. 

The cabinets in where we keep our sins that we know are wrong, but we like them. So we just stuff them in the closet and shut the door. They get all mixed together and unorganized, but we like them that way. These are the things that we don't like to call sin...the things we excuse with sayings like "It's just the way I am".

Then there is the hand dryer. We HATE the hand dryer. This is sin that knocks us out when we least expect it. You see, under the hand dryer is the trash can...Just when we are almost done cleaning....ready for the last step of just taking out the trash, we stand up and hit our heads on that stupid, useless machine! 

So there you go. Cleaning bathrooms makes me think about sin. I can't help it. Everyday when I clean I am confronted with the gross nature of mankind. But having it all cleaned, sparkling and fresh feels wonderful! So, clean out your bathrooms people. You won't regret it. 

P.S. If you use #6, please start using the toilet brush....especially in stall #3. 

No one wants to see that. Seriously.