Today is a blog day. I could feel it almost as soon as I woke up this morning (early afternoon). The problem is that I just can't quite thing of anything to blog about. I mean other than the fact that I have somehow been transported back into my high school years...
i.e. being dropped off, picked up, fighting with my mom as she is teaching me to drive (stick this time), trying to plan my future, watching Gilmore Girls, stuck at home with no car, etc.
The point is that I am filled with clever and witty things to say, yet none of them seem to come to mind at the moment. I wish I could be more like my new favorite blogger lady (http://www.graspingforobjectivity.com/), who is very funny and weird (I mean, who makes bologna and bacon flower arrangements with their husband). I know in my heart that I'm the kind of person that is capable of weird quirky things like that, but I don't do them. Not that I have any real desire to make meat flowers, but I wish I did more things. I've always wanted to do so many things. If you were ever to ask me "What would you like to do before you die" I'm sure I could come up with a brand new lengthy list, right on the spot. If you ask me the same thing a week later, my list would be different. Here's the real point...my birthday is on Monday. Twenty-two. I know it's not forty-five, but really, twenty-two is practically grown up. you see, I've always been a girl who plans. I've been planning my life all my life. I always knew that I would have my life figured out by this age. I can actually remember specific conversations with my best friend about how I was NEVER going to be the kind of girl who lived with her parents and had no idea what she wanted to do. Suddenly, I am confronted with the fact that I am exactly in the place I never wanted to be.
Now, I don't want to come across as being highly depressed or grossly unhappy, because I'm not. I know that I am where I am for a reason...lots of reasons actually. I know that I have accomplished many good things in my life, had amazing experience, and that I have so much ahead of me. I'm optimistic....but also just a trifle disappointed in myself. So much for not having anything to write about. Advise to other bloggers: Never start a post with no aim in mind if you are tired, melancholy, and almost twenty-two. Especially if you hate birthdays. It's just not smart.
Almost twenty-two. Hmm.
3 comments:
Ironically enough, I am sitting with nothing to write but knowing I need to write a blog post for tomorrow and completely uninspired, so instead of writing, I was browsing my stats (and therefore links to my blog), came across yours (thanks so much for the shout-out and reading, by the way), and found it amusing that you were feeling the same way I am, except saying you wish you could be more like me instead.
So there you go - I'm uninspired. If you're uninspired, then you are.
:)
Thanks for reading, and I liked your blog post. It was quite thought-provoking!
I remember feeling this way many times around my twenty first birthday...I was feeling like my life was not really were I expected it to be ...I think I met Matt right after that and life took off and now I wonder how it got away from me so fast.
When I think about the beautiful woman you have become I am surprised that you are even slightly disappointed in yourself! You are wonderful, inside and out. Never let anyone (even you) tell you differently!)! And.... you can do anything you want to and you will become EVERYTHING that God intends you to be when you seek Him first. God has a plan for your life and you are right on course! You've got plenty of time for all of that other stuff! I love you! AS
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