You know the scene of the movie where the important business person is speaking into their tape recorder some non-essential bit of information, only to realize mid sentence that something totally different, deep, and vulnerable needs to be said?
I wish I could tell you that this was such a moment. I love those moments. I need a moment like that, but sometimes it's just to hard to get to that spot where the vulnerable thoughts are kept. I supposing blogging has become a little bit of that for me...it used to be more of a hobby that stemmed from my desire to be a real writer. I loved writing things that made me laugh, even when they didn't make other people laugh. Then it turned into a way to keep people updated on my life. Places I was going, people I was meeting, things I was doing. I think that's when my blogging habit started to become more of a chore...something I had to maintain in order to keep my connection with people who where far from me. But the thing is, online connections don't feel real to me and I long for realness, depth. I feel like that's what my life is missing right now. So now I just blog when I feel like I have to reach that spot, or scream.
Maybe this IS a moment like that after all.
It's time to retreat back to shallow waters.
