Eltévedtem, és nem beszélek magyarul!

(I'm lost and I don't speak Hungarian!)
I was talking to my most favorite cousin on facebook the other day (she knows who she is...) and was talking about my life and I realized that beside my mom and dad no one has any idea what I have been up to the last few weeks...and actually, they don't even know that much because I am not good at this whole internet communication thing. Anyways, I concluded that it is time for a blog update to fill in those who are interested in knowing the details of my life.

The short version is this, I am offically moved out and living totally indepent for the first time in my life. Actually, I am having a lot of first time experiences right now...my first "flat" with my first flatmates, my first time atempting vegitarianism (ok, maybe I am only partially attempting this), my first time relying on public transportation, i.e. the city bus, and most importantly, my first time on a "long" missions trip.

One of the requirements for the Mission Training Program at CCBCE is that I go on a 30 day missions trip. This is to get a practical taist of what life on the mission field is really like. On May 19th, along with four other students, I left Vajta and moved to Pécs, Hungary. Since I have already blogged about Pécs before, I will spare you from my desire to gush about the beauty of the city. You know, stange as it may seem, I am actually at a loss for words...I think I have writers block. I have so many things I want to express, yet at the same time I feel like being quiet. I am definatlely learning and growing, and since I am still in the process, I think I will save a detailed blog until I am on the other side.

Least the title of this blog mislead you, I think I should clarify. I am SO blessed and happy to be here. It's cool to think back to this time last year and know that even though I was clueless, God knew that I would be living in Europe. I seriously doubt that I will blog again before I leave, although I plan on posting some pictures. So I hope you enjoyed this...

You still want an explaination for this blog title? Fine, I will tell you. I live in Hungary, I ride the city bus, and I don't speak Hungarian...so I learned a pharse to help me on the streets. Not to brag, but I say it pretty well.

(p.s. spell check isn't working...so, just get over my errors.)

With a Needle and Thread

Most of you know about my mom's missions organization Global Health Training. I have been so blessed to have been a part of two different trips with her, Uganda in 2009 and India in 2010. These trips changed my life and opened my eyes to a reality that I had never experienced before. My experiences from these trips have impacted me so much that my whole world view has changed completely. I doubt that I would be where I am today, a missionary training program in Hungary, if it wasn't for Global Health Training.

It has been amazing to be able to be a part of this ministry, and I have grown to respect my mom so much more than I did before. Her heart for helping people is beautiful and she does an incredible job both teaching people who know nothing and equipping local health care professionals. Her example in serving is something that I will always be grateful for. Check out her web page, http://www.globalhealthtraining.org/

My Cousin, Jamie Bearden, has been working really hard on a cross-stitched quilt to raise support for this  ministry and now it is finished! Part of me wants to keep this news quiet so I have more of a chance to win this beautiful quilt, but I have decided to do the right thing and spread the word! Please check it out and buy some tickets! You can buy one ticket for $10 or three for $25, which is really an amazing deal considering how much time and effort has gone into this project.

Please check out her blog and buy some tickets, your support will be so appreciated! When you buy your ticket (because I know you will!), please say a prayer of blessing over Global Health Training and over this project. You can read more and buy your tickets on her blog, With a Needle and Thread,  http://www.withaneedleandthread.blogspot.com/

Thank you Jamie for all your hard work! I love you!

MTP Book Report:

Bruchko by Bruce Olson

Running barefooted down the jungle path, lightly skipping over roots, occasionally swinging from vines to avoid streams of water; some medicine and a Bible packed in a bag on my back. I was tired, but couldn’t stop, lives were hanging in the balance, and dependent on my speedy arrival…Callie the Jungle Missionary was coming to the rescue… I dreamily open my eyes, refocusing on the reality around me. Sighing, I set down my book “Bruchko” the life story of Bruce Olson, a real jungle missionary.  Tape worms, bloody bowl movements, starvation, broken bones…living in the jungle is not quite as glamorous as I imagined it to be. Yet, even while reading about these things I can’t help but see the romance in Bruce Olson’s story.  Romance? I think to myself, am I really willing to look at the life of a single man and declare it romantic? Doesn’t this contradict everything I have every thought about romance? It’s a big thought, one that I cannot easily push aside. Could a life lived in service to God really be considered romantic? As I recall the story of Bruchko, I have to conclude that his relationship with God actually fits into the mold…

At 14 years old, Bruce met the Lord for the first time. His quest for truth ended in a powerful realization and personal encounter with Jesus Christ. He described the experience this way “And then I knew that I was being saved. I felt miserable and broken and sick of myself. But I also realized a peace coming into me. It was alive, and it was making me alive.” After this experience, Bruce changed. He was so in love with Jesus that everyone around him began to notice. He left the Lutheran church his family attended and begin going to another church. He was shocked by the difference of the people in this church. He was actually being fed and he began to grow.

I wonder if pastors of dead churches are dead. It’s a sobering thought to know that is it possible to know all the answers, be in a place of leadership, and still fail to make any difference. My thoughts drift off again…how do I make sure that I my own walk with Christ impacts people for good? Are we supposed to purposefully attract people for the Lord or is it meant to be something that just happens as we follow Christ? A quote from Bruce that I wrote down pops back into my memory… “He hadn’t called me to be a missionary like Mr. Rayburn. He has called me to Himself, to be like His Son, Jesus Christ.” Well, that’s my answer. If we are striving to follow Jesus, serving Him no matter what, it will be reflected in our lives. We should never try to get people to follow us, but rather, we should always try to get people to the point of desiring to follow Jesus.

Smiling faces swarmed me. Skinny arms and legs, chopped, dirty hair…little ones pushing and shoving to get close, older ones standing back shyly, yet longingly. They were starving and my heart was torn into pieces, a little bit given to each one of them. I will never forget my experience at the orphanage in Uganda; I am often reminded of those sweet little babies. As I was reading Bruchko, something Bruce said stood out to me, reminding me of that time. He said “Most of all they are starving for the knowledge of Jesus Christ.” Food is just food. It keeps us alive and on earth for a little while longer, but what good is all the food we eat on earth if we are just going to hell when we die? Bruce lived with this reality every day. Although he was not serving a starving community, he was living in the jungle with a spiritually starving people, people who were really searching to know the Creator and longing for God. As I read this book, I was stuck at how many ancient beliefs actually pointed to Jesus. God had been preparing this remote jungle tribe to hear the message that was to be brought to them, by one lone missionary, for hundreds of years before his arrival. God had always planned to save them; He just used Bruce to accomplish His purpose. Because Bruce allowed the Lord to lead him, he ended up in a remote jungle in the middle of South American…and hundreds of lives were changed as a result.

“I was discovering that the cross of Christ meant more than joy and peace. It meant suffering too. Suffering that was necessary to bring a later hope.” Bruce Olsen suffered in the jungle…he really suffered, and from more than just broken bones…but also from a broken heart. Both his fiancé and his best friend died, leaving him behind to morn and question God. As I read that section of the book, my heart rebelled for a minute….But God, I argued, you did so many miracles there. How could that happen? You had already proven yourself to be so much bigger than any other force, yet you allowed them to die!?

 Then it struck me…God had saved lives, He had healed people, He had translated languages. It was because of His past faithfulness and miracles Bruce could be assured that God really was in control. I pondered this…are the things we see as bad always from the enemy? Doesn’t God have control? I know He does. He gives us what we need…Bruchko talked of Gods provision for him…“It had come when I needed it, not a day sooner, not a day later.” The biggest lesson I learned from reading Bruchko was this…God takes care of His children and He uses us, and in the end, we get to be with Him. Some get to go before others, but while we are waiting for Him to take us to heaven, we serve Him.  We serve him with “Only a drive within from God that nearly everyone else thought was foolish”.

I closed the book, wiping tears away. Would I be willing to go to such a place? Would I be willing to learn from such a people? What is the prayer of my heart? Sometimes I catch myself praying “Please God, anywhere but there.” I want to live my life with a new prayer…”Use me God, wherever I am.”

Almost 23

My twenty-third birthday is in five days. I have decided to break tradition and NOT cry on my birthday, therefore I am allowing myself a short time of melancholy. Right now I am listening to Snow Patrol's "Set Fire to the Third Bar" and when the song is over, then my moment will be over.

I don't know exactly why I ever got into this pattern of grieving over another year passed, but somehow it happened. Even when my year has been incredible, I tend to spend my birthday in the "Christmas day dumps" (you might only understand that reference if you are related to me and had some sort of involvement in a certain traumatizing Christmas pageant). It's not that I even have bad or depressing birthdays (2005 and 2006 excluded), I just get retrospective about my life and allow my thoughts and imagination to run wild with "what ifs" or even "I wish I could go backs". But this year I resolve to end this unhealthy habit once and for all. I am even posting this blog as proof....so if I ever cry on my birthday again, remind me of this.

The song is over, my moment is over. So when I turn 23 I am not going to mourn! I'm going to be happy and celebrate and praise God that I am alive!

Just Enough is Enough...

But He gives so much more! 
Ever since I got back from Slovenia I have been trying to construct a blog. I've sat down to write about my trip few times, yet I have never been able express anything. I started a blog that recorded our daily activities...each day starting with "we woke up" and ending with "we finally got to bed, exhausted". Half way through the process I stopped, feeling discouraged. How can I possible convey the heart change that comes from spending ten days in a new culture, serving with a church, and feeling a burden for new people? How can I accurately communicate  my thankfulness for the team unity and the joy of serving the Lord and seeking to follow Him with other believers? How can I describe the struggle of not allowing my sinful nature to control me or the pain of having my own sin laid open before me?
I can't, I just can't. 
Ten days, that's it. Ten days of my life. While living them, it felt like as if they would never end...not in a bad way...but in the natural way we simply move from day to day. Yet now, looking back, it seemed like it passed so quickly. Just a short reprieve from the reality I live it.
So much change, I change so much, but nothing has changed. 
If I had to define those ten days in a short statement, I would say; God humbled me, but He raised me up. It's all I have. I won't share stories and examples, although I have them. Everyday God did something amazing. But at the moment, the point is not how, it's what.
Today in class, we talked about worship and wrote our own statement of worship based on what God has been doing. This is what I wrote:
"God, thank you so much for your consistent faithfulness in my life. Thank you for showing me you have a plan for every good and bad situation I have ever faced and ever will face. Your faithfulness overwhelms me. Your hand has led me here and I know it will continue to lead me. Thank you that You have revealed Yourself to me and that you have humbled me, You have broken me and taken my pride, only to rebuild me again and restore me to something better. You are patient with me when I deserve to be deserted. You are real, and Your love is powerful."
Amen.